Blogging

    In the beginning of the semester when Mrs. Crocker announced we would be blogging my stomach sunk. The only blogs that I had read were the blogs that my family members have made. Their blogs typically are about their days around the house cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids. I figured it was a way for the homemakers of my family to brag about their “Susie homemaker” life styles. I enjoy cleaning and taking care of my son as well, but the last thing I want to do is write about it!

    I try to leave as little of a foot print on the World Wide Web as I possibly can. My Facebook profile is on private. I only add people that I know personally. So, the thought of my personal life being splashed across a blog site was not something I was not excited about. In the directions it stated we could avoid using personal situations and information if we wanted, but I knew that in order to write blogs that people would enjoy reading, I had to use my personal experiences. I doubt I will continue to blog after this semester is over. Even though it wasn’t horrible, I just feel like I don’t have much to write about, unless assigned a topic. My life as a mother is boring enough; I don’t think I need to bore the world by writing about it. Also, the privacy settings are not strict enough for my liking. Facebook is really the only form of blogging I will continue to use. I can post pictures, comments and stories for family and friends to read.

     Blogging hasn’t been all bad. I like the fact that we get to see what other classmates came up with for their blogs. It is interesting to get a glimpse into their lives. Usually you go through a semester hardly even speaking to your fellow classmates, but in our case we got to read stories about each other. I have enjoyed so many blogs this year it is hard to even pick a few that were my favorites. Amanda’s blog was a fun one because I got to read more about the girl sitting next to me in class. The title of another blog had something to do with golf and poker. I found that one interesting because he talked about being in the military. My father served his country for many years so I could relate to the writers struggles. Yet, I enjoyed something in all of them. I wish the class best of luck in all your future endeavors.

Yosemite

I was visiting my aunt with my mom in Fresno, California. She lived closer to Yosemite in the mountains. The gate at the entrance of Yosemite was roughly twenty-five minutes from the house. It was a Sunday morning and everyone in the house was getting ready for church. I decided since it wasn’t a church that I belonged to, that I would go take a drive through Yosemite that day. I have been to Yosemite many times as a child, but had yet to visit as an adult. I love the outdoors. These days camping usually involves places where we can go dirt bike riding too.

     It was a crisp winter day, which made me nervous that it might snow. We don’t have chains for the Honda CRV and the drive down into Yosemite Valley has a very windy road. I decided to take my chances. When I got to the main gate of the national park, I was very anxious to get to the Valley floor and see all the sights. When I was a kid I remembered the valley was where all the beautiful waterfalls are. I remembered very wrong. The whole drive down into the valley was breath taking. Although it was freezing outside I blasted the heater and rolled down my windows. The air tasted and smelled so fresh. The only I can describe it is to compare it to the way it smells after it rains, but one hundred times better.

     I pulled over constantly to take pictures of the scenery and enjoy the great outdoors. The roads kept winding and I enjoyed every minute of it. The moment I got through the tunnel and saw the view of the whole Yosemite Valley I was blown away. The recent rain and winter air made it feel like my own personal wonderland. It was the off season so there was practically no one in the park. The silence while standing looking at the view is something I will never forget. It almost made me feel like I was the last person left on earth. I took a lot of pictures of the scenery but I also took some pictures of myself while holding the camera out in front of me, hoping to get myself in the shot.

     When I finally reached the Valley I went to one of the hotels. I asked one of the front desks clerks for a good place to eat, because it was the off season not a lot was open. I chose to eat at the hotel’s restaurant. I ordered a stew and corn bread. The cold weather made it a perfect choice. The food was amazing, and I sat by a huge fireplace just reading my book. After lunch I parked the car by an open field that had a beautiful view of two waterfalls. I backed in to the spot and opened the back door to the car. I laid out blankets in the back of the car and cuddled up with my book. I finished it in just a couple of hours. I went for a walk in the snow and soaked in as much as I could before I had to leave. It would be getting dark early and I did not want to brave those windy roads in the dark. I took a few more pictures and headed home. I remember thinking that I should have brought someone with me, but immediately I decided I wouldn’t have changed that day for anything. Since then I make it a point to take time for me. I love taking vacations alone. There is something liberating about taking a vacation alone. I get to take time to enjoy silence.

(I took the first picture with the timer on my camera. In the second picture I remeber wishing I had lemonade to make it look like yellow snow.)

 

More than Important

    My mother has always been an influence in my life. Sometimes the influence is bad and sometimes it is good. She specifically is not a bad influence; she has just stirred up bad emotions in me. Nobody can push our buttons like our lovers and our mothers. She can’t have a conversation without bringing her religion into it and trying to convert you. She loves everybody, no matter what. I remember when I was little and we would go shopping, I would wander off and I always found my mom by looking for her big hair. She has been my mirror when I didn’t want to face all the bad decisions that I was making in my life, but she is my own personal cheerleader. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer at the beginning of this year. It has been the most painful thing in my life to watch my mother lose weight rapidly.  Her skin is starting to hang of her bones and her eyes always look tired. She has not lost her spirit; she will perk right up when company walks in and tell them she is fine. The reality check that happens when you find out that your mother is dying of a rare cancer that no treatment known to mankind will slow down or cure is painful. The wind is knocked out of you. It’s like waiting for your world to fall apart. The promise of demise that you are not sure you want to believe. Sometimes I wish it would just hurry up and take her. Fulfill this promised demise. Yet, I find myself praying for forever.

 

   He is ten years old and one of the most loving little kids I have ever met. He is tall for his age and lanky. He wears glasses that he constantly pushes up on his nose when he gets nervous. He fidgets when he is sitting still, like he can’t wait to get up and run. If you hand him a computer he will turn into an educated computer technician, or at least you will think he has. He uses his iPod to send text messages to people that love him, through an application he downloaded. At ten he has an extensive contacts list. I ease drop on them every once in a while. We have long talks about love, hate and intolerance. I am blessed to have such an amazing son. He isn’t always the little old man trapped in the ten year old body. He has his moments when he misbehaves. It is funny to watch him when he realizes he is acting like a child. The old soul takes over again and he is quick to apologize and give you a hug.

 

    When I think back to when I was little and try and picture my father I visualize a shut door. He was always in his room with the door shut. On holidays he would go as far to tape up a sign that read “DO NOT DISTURB.” When I had done something bad enough my mother would decide it was his turn to punish me. I would have to go in his room to talk to him. He would take off his glasses; his beady eyes always scared me. One time he told me that if I continued to head down the path I was headed that my soul would turn black. I would no longer have God, Jesus or The Holy Ghost watching over me. He always knew what to say to scare you. I think that is a choice he made, to control and discipline with fear. I remember wishing I had a dad that thought of me as his little princess. My father has changed over the years; grandkids have turned him into a gushing grandpa. I will never know what caused this change because we don’t talk about stuff like that. I do know that he writes in his diary every day with his shaky hand. I am too afraid to touch them now, but one day I might read about how he thought of me as his little princess.

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part Two

        

   I went and saw Breaking Dawn part two on opening night. The mass amounts of people that line up to see it is astounding. It makes the excitement to see the book play out on the big screen that much more exciting. I have read all four books more times than I would like to admit. The writing is a bit juvenile, but I don’t think these were meant to be epic novels. They were meant for pre-teens and teens. . If you are a Twilight fan you will love this movie. If you are not a Twilight fan these numbers speak for themselves. The movie made 340.9 million dollars on opening night worldwide.

   Breaking Dawn part two was the movie I anticipated the most. New Moon is my favorite book and movie. I believe they have out done themselves. This movie was amazing! It had just enough comedy and drama to keep you entertained. They brought in so many new cast members to play out all the new characters introduced in the book. I love how a book portrayed on the big screen can twist and turn in so many ways that your mind never thought of while reading it. The twist of plot had the whole theatre screaming, which to me was the highlight of my night. I think I cried and laughed harder than I have in a very long time, all because my friends were crying and screaming too. I couldn’t help but laugh at them.

   Even if you are not a big fan of the books, and even if you have not seen any of the movies. I suggest you give them a chance. You might be surprised that you actually do like them. Don’t say you don’t like the Twilight Saga until you have given it a fair chance.

Fast Food and Hot Dogs

   I remember when I was about ten years old one of my best friends was explaining to me the ingredients in a hot dog. Her voice sounded more like she was telling a scary story than explaining something that humans actually consume. I was horrified by everything she said. My first reaction was to call her a liar, but after asking my parents for the facts about hot dogs, I found out her scary story was indeed truth. I do not eat hot dogs anymore. The knowledge had changed me for life. Later on in life I remember someone asking me if I knew what was in bologna. I shouted “Don’t tell me!” I figured remaining naïve is better than not eating delicious foods.

   Fast Food Nation is like a hot dog to me, but instead of just the ingredients being exposed, this book has exposed so much more. I wish I had yelled at the beginning of the semester “I won’t read that!” Hind sight is twenty-twenty. This book should be in the horror section of a bookstore. Just like the hot dog I will be forever scarred. I can’t take the things that I have read and learned from this book out of my brain. This book has forced me to look at what I eat and if I will continue trying to remain oblivious to the facts.  

My First Semester at Oxnard College

 

   This is my first semester at Oxnard College. I chose to go back to school to better my chances in today’s challenging economy. I have not been to school in years which made me nervous that it might be too challenging and completely different from the years I went to High School. When I was in High School I was a bit of a rebel and never paid attention. I hardly attended, which was constantly getting me and my Mom into trouble.

   The experience so far has been positive. I have learned that I actually can be good at school. Not only has it helped with my self-esteem, it has made me follow through with goals I have set for myself. The only thing that bugs me about college is the pressure I put on myself. I stress out about assignments over and over. When it’s over and turned in I usually receive a grade that I never expected. I wish I could just give myself a little slack sometimes. The challenges I face are juggling being a single mother and attending College. I am setting an example to child that it is never too late to continue your education.

   The workload is sometimes hard to handle, yet I usually find it is because I have procrastinated. I wish that I had more time to spend with my son, but my perfectionist attitude will not let me do less than my best. This requires over working any project that comes in front of me, no matter what subject it is. The ultimate goal of finishing my general education requirements and furthering my education for my family is what keeps me going.

   Staying motivated is not easy. I have worked fifty plus hours a week jobs since my child was a baby. The temptation to skip class and stay in bed is hard to fight. I have to constantly remind myself why I am doing this and the positive changes it will have on our lives. One of the things that helps me stay motivated is I have a picture of a business woman in a court room. The picture has her standing in front of the jury. In my mind she is making her last arguments for the case she is working on. It is in a place where I see it every day.  I hope that will be me someday.

You can't handle the TRUTH

The truth from last week's blog was #1. I was born in the United States, but not in a State. Otherwise known as Washington D.C.