Itsy Bitsy Spider- Essay #1

   

   Childhood memories are usually things we look back on to remember a time of innocence and care free days. My childhood was no different. I was what you would call a “tom boy.” I was climbing trees, playing basketball and doing anything to be one of the boys. I grew up on a regular street like anyone else. Back in the late 1980’s and the early 1990’s, everyone on the block knew each other. It wasn’t like these days where we hardly know our neighbors. The parents on our block hung out together, and all of us kids played together. It was never boring. At all times of the day you had someone to play with. If I think back I can remember at least 20 kids I grew up with on my street. 

   The boys on my block were a tough group. I always was trying to impress them so that they would think I was one of the guys. I remember the day I decided to make a fort. I  made it out of an old short palm tree pressed up between the side of my house and the surrounding backyard fences. There was only one way in. You had to lift a few large leaves and crawl under them to enter. When you entered, you were hidden from everyone. It was a very secret hiding place. I loved my fort. I brought in old blankets to cover the ground. I lined the boards of the backyard fences with trinkets and knickknacks. It was truly my own hideaway from the world. 

   I have to say I was the bossiest club president. My fort would not fit all the kids on the block at once, probably only eight at tops. Picking only eight was very difficult for me. If  I picked only boys, I would be teased mercilessly. If I picked only girls, I would be shunned by the boys who played better games than Barbie’s. So I decided I would make it case by case basis. If you were a good friend to me the days we were playing in my fort you would be allowed in. I abused my power all the time. The kids on my block liked my  fort and wanted to be a member. They were always saying how jealous they were that 

they didn’t have a fort next to their houses like mine. I loved the attention. 

   When I was 8 years old my parents sat my siblings and I down to let us know they would be leaving to Las Vegas for the weekend. My parents taking mini-vacations was nothing new. We usually were dropped off at our grandparents house in Murrieta Hot Springs. I hated leaving my friends. When my parents told us my oldest sister Resa would be coming to our house to watch us, I was ecstatic. My sister Resa was young, hip and, most of all, lenient on rules. The only rules were to clean up your messes, no fighting and always be home when the street lights come on. My parents were packed and ready to go when my sister arrived. I said goodbye and reminded them not to forget to bring me a present back. 

   I was free to run amuck for an entire weekend. I gathered a few of my best friends for a club meeting. I wanted to have a lemon-aid stand that weekend to raise money for our club. The money went to maintaining and making our fort better. After the meeting was over, and more kids were coming out to play, we decided to play a game of reverse hide and seek.  

   When it was my turn to hide I tried to avoid my fort. Everyone knew it was my favorite place in the world, but I had just cleared out some brush in between my chimney and the fence. I had not hid inside my fort in so long maybe the hiding spot would do just the opposite. I decided to take my chances. As they began to count, I ran for my fort as fast as I could. I squeezed into the clearing and waited. As I was standing in that tight spot I realized that no way we were all fitting into this space unless we squeeze together. The 

first person to find me was Scott. That made me nervous. He was older and bigger than a lot of us. We would have to squeeze tighter than I thought to avoid detection. 

   As he started to squeeze in I felt a sharp prick on my right thigh. I looked down and saw a huge brown spider run down my leg. I screamed so loud I caught the attention of everyone looking for us. “Great, now they all know where we are, all because of a dumb spider. Girls are such babies!” Scott said. He stepped on the spider and killed it, then picked it up to examine it. I didn’t care if boys play cool games. The fact that they pick up bugs was just plain icky! I looked at my thigh and realized I had been bit. The spot that had felt like a tiny prick had swollen to the size of a quarter. I couldn’t believe how much it hurt.  

   I decided to forfeit the game. I ran into the house to show my sister the bite. Scott ran in behind me with the dead spider in his hand. We were both talking so fast when we found my sister in the kitchen listening to music and doing the dishes. She turned the music off and told us to calm down. “Now start from the beginning” she said. I could only think of one thing to do. I showed her my thigh where the spider had bit me. It was bigger than before and more swollen. It was also changing colors. That is when Scott held up the spider and shouted “I killed it!” My sister screamed at the sight of the spider. I was glad to know that even grown up girls don’t like spiders. She grabbed a sandwich bag and told Scott to seal it up. 

   She raced me to the bathroom and plopped me up on the sink. She pulled out a large brown bottle from the medicine cabinet. I now know it was hydrogen peroxide. She started to pour the liquid over the bathroom sink onto the bite. The smell made me sick and it made the wound bubble up, which was actually pretty cool. She put some  Neosporin on it and bandaged it up. I actually think she believed it when she announced “All better now, you can go play.” 

   I really wanted to go out and play again, but I was still in so much pain. I decided to go and lay down in the living room and watch some television instead. My sister brought me some Advil to help with the pain. As I lay on the couch I started to feel flu like symptoms coming on. I was feeling very nauseous. I felt my head getting very hot. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I can always tell I am really sick when I actually vomit. I hate the act and the feeling of it. 

   When my sister saw me throwing up she knew it was time to call my parents. She was taking my temperature while she was leaving a message at the front desk of the hotel my parents were staying at. My temperature had reached 101 degrees. I was sweating like I had just ran a mile. My sister grabbed that ugly spider in the bag and started to examine it as well. She knew it wasn’t a black widow. She guessed it was just your average garden spider. 

   As we waited for my parents to call back I remember going in and out of  

consciousness. I would go back and forth between being hot and cold. I was not throwing up anymore, but my temperature had climbed to 103 degrees. My sister raced me into the bathroom and started running a cold bath. When she removed the bandage the horror on her face scared me more than what the bite had become. It looked as if my skin was deteriorating and a red line had begun to move up my leg away from the bite. I immediately threw up again in the toilet. My sister dumped more hydrogen peroxide on the wound and got me into the cold tub. I remember thinking that taking a cold bath was horrible. I would rather have a temperature. She called a neighbor and asked if they could come over and keep an eye on my other siblings while she took me to the emergency room. They were more than willing to help out. 

   On our way to the emergency room the flu symptoms continued. It felt like it took us forever to get there, but in all reality the trip is only about 15 minutes. The emergency room was a blur. It smelled like medicine, bleach and sick people. Nurses were asking me questions and poking at me. I could hardly stay awake, let alone answer all their questions. 

   We got into see a doctor very quickly. My sister explained what had happened. She held up the dead spider in the bag as the doctor took the bandage off my wound. He informed us he was positive it was a venomous spider. He just wasn’t exactly sure what kind it was. He let us know he would take good care of me and to relax. “Everything is going to be fine” he said. He left the room and came back with a nurse. He informed us he was going to cut open the wound and pack it with gauze. The gauze would help pull out infection and any bacteria or venom in my body. As for the red line, that was the venom traveling through my blood vessels trying to reach my heart. If it would have reached my heart I would probably be dead. I couldn’t believe it. I wanted to just step on that spider over and over again. Instead I threw up. 

   The thought of the doctor cutting at the wound scared me to death. It hurt so much already. He numbed the skin around the bite then he started to cut. I couldn’t watch. He packed the wound with gauze. I remember being surprised at how much he could fit into  the bite, which was now a crevice in my thigh. He patched it up and sent us home with medications to help me feel better, but he decided to keep the spider. I still to this day thought that was weird. Was he going to attach it to my file? 

   I went home feeling a little better already. When we arrived home my parents had called and said they would be home the next day. The ordeal was almost over. The doctor had that ugly spider, which I was grateful because I don’t think I could have slept knowing it was in my house. I didn’t care if it was dead. I realized the only thing I wanted at that moment was my mommy. 

    The next day the doctor called to let us know he had discovered that the spider that bit me was a brown recluse. Next to the black widow it is one of the most poisonous spiders known to be in North America, if not the most poisonous. He let us know I would have to return to the emergency room every other day to change out the gauze and so the doctor could keep an eye on the healing process. I was very lucky. A brown recluse bite  can leave devastating damage to the skin cells requiring skin graphs or other operations. 

I did not need any operations or skin graphs done. To this day I only have a circular scar on my right thigh. The one thing I learned is, I do not like spiders, and they do not  like me.

Interview with Don King

                                                  

   Don King is the middle child of three boys. He grew up here in Oxnard. He is 21 years old and lives at home with his mother and brothers. Don spends time with his family over dinners. Even though his father does not live with him, Don looks up to his father. Don’s dad is a very happy person. He hopes to adopt his father’s easy going happy personality.

    Don is a self described gamer. He loves computer and video games. His favorite is his Xbox. He can chat online with people from all over while playing his favorite games. “We are a house full of gamers” he said. He spends about 10 hours a day playing video games, sometimes playing into late night hours. It didn’t surprise me when asked to describe him self in three words he said “nocturnal, gamer and goofy.” In my experience these are typical traits of any gamer.

    In spite of his love for video games, Don looks forward to one day becoming self reliant. Moving out of his mother’s house and getting a place of his own. He doesn’t want to look too far forward. He likes to stay focused on what he can do now.

    Going to College seemed to be the first step in reaching his goals. In his family going to college is expected of you. Don looks at it as a head start in life. He is focusing on his general education. If he had to choose a career path now, he would be a Firefighter. Don does not think of him self as a role model. Yet anyone who is going to college and aspires to be a Firefighter has a lot to be proud of.

    This semester Don is taking 9 units at Oxnard College. It is close to home, which helps him out a lot. His favorite class is English 101. He doesn’t have to wake up so early to get to campus in time, unlike his other classes. He enjoys school and likes the campus. He has found nothing about the campus he doesn’t like yet. Don was very surprised that the food is good and they have an arcade here. He does not work right now so he can focus on school, yet still enjoy his free time. All of these factors make Oxnard College a perfect fit for Don.

    When asked how he juggles school, family life and other responsibilities he said “I do my school work as soon as it is assigned, that way procrastination does not get the best of me.” He is on campus about 5 hours a week, so that leaves plenty of time for homework and his love of video games.

To Text or Not to Text

     Text messaging has some positive and negatives. It has become one of the main forms of communication. If I have a quick question or just want to send a hello or I miss you, text messaging does come in handy. I usually prefer to text throughout my day. It is easier with my schedule. I can avoid having to answer phone calls and having a conversation that everyone around me can hear. I can check my phone when it is appropriate and get back to people at my own convenience. If I have a lot to say I can text someone and ask them to call me when they can, that way I am not interrupting them as well.

    The main negative to text messaging is doing it while driving. Not only is it dangerous, it is illegal. Yet everyday we see someone on the road commit this crime. The funny part is that people think a red light or a stop sign with no other cars around is an exception to this law.

   I was having coffee with a friend a while ago. She had a fight with her boyfriend and they broke up. She needed someone to talk it out with. She was crying and telling me she does not understand why he picks fights with her. I asked her what was said to escalate a fight into actually breaking up. They had been together for 2 years. To my surprise she got her phone out and pulled up a screen with different color bubbles on the right and left. She handed me the phone and said “the pink bubbles are me.” I was in shock. Here I was at a coffee shop not talking to my friend, instead reading through their whole fight and all of their personal issues on a little bright screen. I could see why she was confused. I was too! So much is misinterpreted and doesn’t seem sincere over text. There are just some things that require human interaction.

   I will save my short conversations for text messaging. My friendships frequently visited with laughter and coffee dates. I’ll save my love life for real human connections. My fights I will have face to face. I want that person to see my anger, my pain and not misunderstand any of it.

The Harm in Reality

  

   You probably wouldn’t have guessed it, but I am a reality show junkie. Don’t get me wrong. I do not watch every reality show ever to be aired on television, but I do get my fill.

   When I was young television was guarded over, like the last piece of Banana Cream Pie. My parents were very strict about the television shows we were allowed to watch and not watch. Movies that were rated PG-13 had to be pre-screened by my Mother and Father before we were allowed to see them. Rated R movies were out of the question. 

   Needless to say, MTV was never allowed. MTV not only has the longest running reality television show, they are also credited with launching the modern reality television genre. This reality show is called The Real World. The first season of The Real World broadcasted in 1992. It is still to this day one of my favorites.

   I remember going to a friend’s house when I was eleven years old, because her parents both worked and we got to watch all the MTV we wanted. The first music video I remember watching was “Just like a prayer” by Madonna. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen at the time. If anyone has seen this music video you can understand how a sheltered Mormon girl by upbringing would be in awe of Madonna. I fell in love with MTV and all the music videos. MTV has evolved and added a Real World Road Rules challenge. When The Real World season ends the Real World Road Rules challenge begins. I get year round entertainment of my favorite show.

   Looking back I realize that my parents were trying to shelter me from the negativity of all these movies and television shows. They were so busy trying to shield us that they forgot the most important thing. Open communication and talking to your children about the pressures of the world and how to handle them.

   These days I try not to watch too much television. I am too busy raising a child of my own, and balancing all the pressures of being a single mother. My guilty pleasures of reality television are usually saved till after everything else is done, and my son is asleep. Adopting the strict rules of my parents, I would never allow my son to watch MTV or many of the other television shows for that matter.

   My son and I have a very open and honest relationship. We have had “the birds and the bees” talk. My views on the reality television shows are that I would prefer him to learn about the contents of these shows from his Mother. Alcohol, drugs, sex, fighting, abuse, partying and relationship advice should all be heard from loving parents first. They have their children’s best interests at heart. If not, you take the chance of your child taking what they have learned from television or their friend’s as fact.

   MTV has now turned into a dominantly reality television network. If you wake up early enough you can catch some music videos. I see constant previews for new shows. 16 and pregnant, Celebrity Rehab, Intervention, competition shows and True Life. I can only hope parents are talking to their children about the subjects that are brought into the light on these shows. They might be doing more harm than good to a young child’s life. I believe that communication is crucial. If these shows get a child to ask questions about real life issues, I am all for it. Parents cannot rely on their children coming to them to ask questions. Crossing their fingers that their children are not dealing with or learning anything harmful from television. We are the adults. We have to start communicating. We are raising the future.

Fast Food and I

                                                                 

   Since the early 1980’s my mother has collected McDonald’s toys from their Happy Meal’s.  Not just a few, she needed the whole set.  “They are worth nothing if you don’t have all of them” she would say.  It took a while for McDonald’s to realize people were actually collecting the whole sets of toys.  In later years they would sell the sets without having to purchase a Happy Meal.  So growing up we had to go at least three times a week.  My mom would pull into the drive-thru and ask the embarrassing question, “What toy do you have today?”  We would drive to many different McDonald’s around town to see if they had different toys that the others.

   As you can imagine McDonald’s was a big part of my life.  I was never really excited to go.  I only got to make two choices.  What type of soda I wanted and weather to have a cheeseburger or chicken mcnugget's.  I always had to get a Happy Meal.  Other choices on the menu were out of the question.

   It was not a treat, it was forced.  It was however a chance to get out of the house and to spend time with my Mom.  I knew she enjoyed collecting the toys and it prevented me from standing in front of the fridge, starring at its contents, trying to decide what to make myself for dinner.  If left to my own devices I usually always made macaroni and cheese or a tomato sandwich.

   I never learned how to cook.  It never interested me.   Eating out is still a big part of my life.  I have just upgraded from fast food to restaurants.   I love fish over meat.  I enjoy eating vegetables, fresh fruit and salads.  I prefer these choices over fast food any day.  Yet, the convenience of fast food keeps me going back.  It is cheap, easy and familiar.  I wish I was raised with better eating habits.  Eating fast food and junk food has shaped my eating habits as an adult.

   Now that I am a mother I try and make better choices for my son.  I fall short of perfect all too often, but I am proud that my son prefers healthy options over fast food.  If asked what he would like for dinner, he would smile and say “sushi.”  It is our favorite.  We love seafood.  My son eats his vegetables.  His favorites are corn, Brussels sprouts, soy beans and artichokes.  The only vegetable he doesn’t like is broccoli.

   I still have those days that get so busy you are glad that breathing is a natural reflex or you would forget to do that too.  It is those days I find myself in the drive-thru of some fast food joint.  I let my son pick what he wants while I stare at the menu trying to find the healthiest choice on the menu.  I am thankful they post calories now.

   I wish I could say I always make healthy choices and that our meals are always thought out and full of everything our bodies need for the day.  That is just not the case, but I do think about how to make little changes towards healthy eating habits.  I still eat at McDonald’s every once in a while.  Believe it or not I still order a chicken mcnugget happy meal, just like when I was little.  I do not keep the toy.  I usually throw it away.